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maryryanbogardYes, I know- walking into a minefield here, I am (with both the likes and dislikes). But others haven't been shy about sharing their likes and dislikes about the holiday season, so I figured I might as well chime in. Though I'm hoping everyone will hear me out on both lists.
First, my holiday bottom ten- things I really don't like about this time of year (better to get these out of the way first).
10. How the 24th and 25th always seems so far away at first, yet never fail to sneak up on me. Even with Christmas trees going up the moment trick-or-treaters stop coming around (this particular annoyance actually missing the bottom ten), somehow even as late as the second week of December it always seems like there's "plenty of time"; then it turns into "OMG Christmas is [day of week]!" Side note: while trying to finish a couple pottery pieces intended as gifts this year, why oh why did my iPod have to play a few holiday songs only to follow them up with "The Final Countdown" (obviously I wasn't listening to my holiday playist specifically)?
9. The hecticness, including things like traffic and crowding. I don't like those any more than anyone else.
8. That there always seems to be an increase in ads/spam this time of year more than any other. Maybe it's just me, but I do seem to get way more spam at this time of year than any other. And there seem to be more ads than ever just about anywhere else, not to mention an uptick in toy and jewelry ads in particular in print and on TV. Annoying either way.
7. "Baby It's Cold Outside". I think there have been enough complaints from enough other people who don't think this a great romantic song (can't help but wonder if perhaps those same people also think "Every Breath You Take" is a great romantic song) to know why this ranks here. Though I must admit, I would love a version that starts with "I really can't stay; baby it's cold outside" but then has "the cold never bothered me anyway" from "Let It Go" spliced in right then and there, at which point the song just cuts off.
6. Certain renditions of some holiday songs. Yes, a lot of songs have multiple good, even great, renditions. However, there are situations where it's better to be picky. One I can't believe I have to be picky about is "Happy Christmas (War Is Over)". Only the John Lennon original should exist, but Yoko has since allowed so many singers record that song. One such singer is Jessica Simpson, and of course the local grocery store has to play her version when I shop there during the holiday season. Also there's a version of "Feliz Navidad" that I could have gone the rest of my life not knowing existed (and since it's by a band that hasn't really "hit it big" even now, I'll simultaneously not call further attention to it/the band that sang it and spare the rest of you from it- all I'm gonna say is it sounds like drunken prostitutes singing a holiday standard as an apparent bizarre method of seduction). Final note on this one: all you up-and-coming artists (or even established ones), just because you recorded a version of a popular holiday song, that doesn't automatically make you cool.
5. "Christmas Shoes", both the song and theexistence of the made-for-TV movie of it. I don't want to be depressed and constantly crying this time of year, thank you very much. And yes, they made a freakin' (granted, made-for-TV) movie out of this song- heck if I know why.
4. The live-action "Grinch" movie, everything about it. Yes, "everything about it" does include the song "Where Are You Christmas", both the version in the film and the Faith Hill cover thereof (this song did not exist in the original animated "Grinch" and there's nothing in the original book that might have inspired it). But the song is nothing compared to how the Whos now needed to learn that "Christmas doesn't come from a store, maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more" rather than the Grinch and the unecessary gross-out humor/things really only done for "shock value" or cheap laughs. (Okay, I'll give Jim Carrey himself a pass, but everything else about this movie... no, just no.)
3. "Fairytale of New York". Yes, you read that right. I know I'm probably the only person on the planet that doesn't think this song is "a modern classic", "the only Christmas song that matters", etc. (seriously, this song seems to top every "best Christmas song" list I've seen and is never on any "worst" list). But "Christmas Eve in the drunk tank", a bickering couple (with said bickering resorting to some awful words being thrown around- sorry, I prefer not to hear "faggot", "arse", or "slut" (with or without "on junk" immediately following) in a Christmas song), a relationship pretty much falling apart? Okay, not that I particularly cared for this song to begin with, but ten years ago (as of this writing), that hit a little too close to home for me. My typical alcohol consumption throughout a given year then was about on par with what it is now, but the guy I thought at the time I would be spending the rest of my life with was a bona fide alcoholic- was so even before we met but it did seem to escalate over the course of that particular year. He was also emotionally abusive to me even sober, something I only realized in hindsight. I was trying anything and everything (like seeking out- and enduring listening to- the version of "Feliz Navidad" mentioned in #6) to salvage Christmas if not the relationship itself that year (that I failed miserably on both fronts goes without saying). Oh, sorry, didn't mean to ramble there. But I think you can see why the last thing I need to hear is some drunk calling their significant other "an old slut on junk", especially in something I'm apparently supposed to think is the best holiday song ever.
2. Missing my grandmother more than usual. Well, she was actually my great-grandmother, but she raised my dad thus ended up being my grandmother figure on his side of the family. Even well into her 80s, from what I could tell/can remember she loved Christmas. I didn't get to spend all that many Christmases with her physically due to geographical distance, but just getting cards from her, talking to her on the phone... dear gods, I'm tearing up as I type this! (Not that I don't miss other relatives who simply live too far away, but Nanny (that's what I called her) is gone forever, and, well, that hurts a lot more.)
1. The endless religious debates, discussion of historical schematics, arguments over what aspects of Christmas should be emphasized over others, pushing for or against political correctness, that kind of stuff. Hence why I earlier made it clear that I was trying to avoid getting into those.
Dishonorable mention: Elf on the Shelf. This would probably rank a bit higher (lower as the case may be) and actually made the bottom ten if I had kids/lived with someone who had kids who expected to see that not-so-cute thing in an odd place each morning (for the record, the only "kid" I have is a cat, and the only other "kids" in the house are dogs). Either way, I just don't get the appeal. As far as keeping kids' behavior in check (though only during the holiday season; no one invokes Santa any other time of year) didn't Santa do just fine on his own for decades if not centuries without having his own version of the NSA? And he should fire several of those elves given what they've been caught doing. Yet despite my lack of kids, I can't ignore the trend completely.
Dishonarable mention #2: The aforementioned phenomenon of Christmas decorations going up practically at midnight on November 1st. Seriously, <sarcasm>it's not like there's another whole month between Christmas and Halloween or anything (with or without another holiday in between). </sarcasm>
Okay, enough negativity. On to my top fifteen- thing I really like about this time of year (and yes, this one's a top fifteen rather than just a top ten).
15. People getting creative with Nativity scenes. I believe I mentioned this last week. Though upon further research, it turns out that the Troi/Riker/Bill & Ted/Three Wise Vaders scene didn't actually win the contest it was made for; I guess you could say it's the Chris Daughtry of that contest (Daughtry's still popular- justifiably so, but who even remembers who actually won the season of "American Idol" in which Mr. Daughtry took part?). Also, for a good portion of my childhood we had a more traditional Nativity scene, but my mom added a lighted ceramic tree to it- I guess an interest in not-strictly-traditional crèches runs in the family.
14. The "Foxtrot" strip where Jason made Red Shirt gingerbread men. Seeing it reposted/spread around this time of year is a lot like seeing favorite Christmas specials on TV.
13. "Will Vinton's A Claymation Christmas Celebration". I only recall seeing this on TV a couple of times in my whole life, and the one time my family tried to tape it off TV the reception was terrible that night (only up to and including the second verse of "We Three Kings"- the first song featured- was anything resembling watchable). Last year I searched and searched for an official DVD of it, hoping such a thing even existed, and actually found and bought it. Worth it? Yes. Okay, I know The California Raisins are nought but a pop culture footnote at best, but still (besides, despite their presence being hyped up in all the promos they only did one song out of the whole thing).
12 (tie). The Muppet Christmas Carol/Mickey's Christmas Carol. These particular renditions of, well, "A Christmas Carol" never get old.
11. "Winnie the Pooh and Christmas Too". I know the concurrent "Pooh" TV series ("The New Adventures of Winne the Pooh") was cancelled/ended ages ago, but no reason for this little holiday film to fade into obscurity.
10. Drive-through/walk-through holiday displays/light shows. A fine example being "Fantasy in Lights" at Callaway Gardens in Georgia. Somewhat closer to home there's the "GardenFest of Lights" at Lewis Ginter Botanical Gardens in Richmond, Virginia and "The Garden of Lights" at Brookside Gardens in Wheaton, Maryland. Oh, and these others, though I haven't actually been to most of them.
9. Baking cookies and other goodies/enjoying those others have made. The German treats my grandmother ocassionally sends, pre-packaged though they may be, count, too.
8. Decorations within reason, residential or business, inside or outside. I won't disagree that some people can get obnoxious with these, but when done in just the right measure and in just the right ways (both of which are highly subjective) they sure are nice to look at.
7. Most traditional songs/"holiday standards". Granted, again there are some renditions of these I can't stand, but again there are also several that have many good versions, even many great versions, out there. Also, yes there are some "mainstays" I could do without hearing any version of ever again, but there aren't as many of those as there are of ones I do like. Let me put it this way: as of this year my holiday playlist consists of 84 songs, and that's with it having only one version of any given song therein (that may change next year, who knows). (Okay, I have the entire albums of "A Charlie Brown Christmas" by the Vince Guaraldi Trio, "The Nutcracker" as performed by the Bonn Classical Philharmonics & Heribert Beissel, and "The Jack 2 Pack" (the original "Nightmare Before Christmas" soundtrack plus the "Nightmare Revisted" album all in one) besides said playlist (which does contain songs off of those albums anyway), but you get my point.) I guess two standouts would be "Little Drummer Boy" and "Parade of the Wooden Soldiers", if for no other reason than fond memories of music boxes that played those songs and were part of my childhood holiday decor.
6. "Snoopy's Christmas". No, I didn't confuse the name of a certain holiday TV special; "Snoopy's Christmas" is the name of a song by The Royal Guardsmen. It's a holiday-themed sequel to The Royal Guardsmen's own non-seasonal "Snoopy vs the Red Baron". In this case, Snoopy and the Red Baron celebrate Christmas together instead of fighting- obviously in reference to the real-life Christmas truce during WWI. I actually use the refrain of this song as my text message alert tone during the holiday season.
5. "A Garfield Christmas Special". Okay, I'll admit it's not as fun as some of the fat cat's less seasonal adventures, but you gotta love Jon's grandma (who incidentally also appeared in the Thanksgiving special)! And of course Garfield's little speech (if you can call it that given that he doesn't really "speak" per se) in the end: "Christmas. It's not the giving, it's not the getting, it's the loving. There, I said it. Now get out of here."
4. "Happy Christmas (War Is Over)"- the original. Don't let the fact that I complained about cover versions and almost wrote a parody of it in retaliation for someone else's parody fool you- the John Lennon original is very much a favorite holiday tune of mine. Incidentally, no, John and Yoko aren't wishing themselves "happy Christmas" during the whispered bit just before the song proper starts though it does sound that way if you're not listening very intently. Rather the greeting is directed towards their respective kids from previous marriages, Julian and Kyoko (Sean, their only kid together, wasn't born yet at the time).
3. "The Nightmare Before Christmas". I was actually hesitant to include this one because it's also a good Halloween movie. Heck, why should this movie be strictly tied to any particular time of year? But it's still awesome, so here it is on my list of Christmasy things that I like. And remember, that's not CGI- the animation was done using lots of little clay figures.
2. "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"- the animated version. Chuck Jones's animation, Boris Karloff's narration, Thurl Ravenscroft singing "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch"- what's not to like?
1. "A Charlie Brown Christmas". I don't think I really need to elaborate much more on this one.
Honorable mention: Holiday flavored creamers. Raspberry White Chocolate and Peppermint Mocha need to be available year-round (especially the former since that's not even really all that seasonal a flavor). That is all.
Honorable mention #2: Trans-Siberian Orchestra. Yeah, they have some non-seasonal stuff, but it's not as popular or well-known. Of their holiday stuff, I can't really pick one particular piece and I'm not so sure if one would consider their stuff "holiday standards" since they don't get a lot of radio play/played in stores and such, so not really sure where exactly they'd fall in the top fifteen.
Honorable mention #3: Rankin-Bass holiday specials. These, especially "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" would have ranked higher but there's obviously so many other things.
Honorable mention #4: Disney's Very Merry Christmas Songs. Such a staple of my childhood. However, much as I'd still love to watch it today, the DVD version wasn't just the VHS I grew up with in a different format. They added a bunch of songs that, regardless of how I feel about the songs themselves the original was just fine without; also they added in framing narration that was neither present nor necessary in the original. Thus, it doesn't rank as high as it otherwise could have.
Now there are some things I like and dislike that didn't even get honorable/dishonorable mentions- I tried to focus on the major highs and lows. Again, well aware that many will disagree one way or the other on a lot of these, but, well, my journal, my opinions.
First, my holiday bottom ten- things I really don't like about this time of year (better to get these out of the way first).
10. How the 24th and 25th always seems so far away at first, yet never fail to sneak up on me. Even with Christmas trees going up the moment trick-or-treaters stop coming around (this particular annoyance actually missing the bottom ten), somehow even as late as the second week of December it always seems like there's "plenty of time"; then it turns into "OMG Christmas is [day of week]!" Side note: while trying to finish a couple pottery pieces intended as gifts this year, why oh why did my iPod have to play a few holiday songs only to follow them up with "The Final Countdown" (obviously I wasn't listening to my holiday playist specifically)?
9. The hecticness, including things like traffic and crowding. I don't like those any more than anyone else.
8. That there always seems to be an increase in ads/spam this time of year more than any other. Maybe it's just me, but I do seem to get way more spam at this time of year than any other. And there seem to be more ads than ever just about anywhere else, not to mention an uptick in toy and jewelry ads in particular in print and on TV. Annoying either way.
7. "Baby It's Cold Outside". I think there have been enough complaints from enough other people who don't think this a great romantic song (can't help but wonder if perhaps those same people also think "Every Breath You Take" is a great romantic song) to know why this ranks here. Though I must admit, I would love a version that starts with "I really can't stay; baby it's cold outside" but then has "the cold never bothered me anyway" from "Let It Go" spliced in right then and there, at which point the song just cuts off.
6. Certain renditions of some holiday songs. Yes, a lot of songs have multiple good, even great, renditions. However, there are situations where it's better to be picky. One I can't believe I have to be picky about is "Happy Christmas (War Is Over)". Only the John Lennon original should exist, but Yoko has since allowed so many singers record that song. One such singer is Jessica Simpson, and of course the local grocery store has to play her version when I shop there during the holiday season. Also there's a version of "Feliz Navidad" that I could have gone the rest of my life not knowing existed (and since it's by a band that hasn't really "hit it big" even now, I'll simultaneously not call further attention to it/the band that sang it and spare the rest of you from it- all I'm gonna say is it sounds like drunken prostitutes singing a holiday standard as an apparent bizarre method of seduction). Final note on this one: all you up-and-coming artists (or even established ones), just because you recorded a version of a popular holiday song, that doesn't automatically make you cool.
5. "Christmas Shoes", both the song and the
4. The live-action "Grinch" movie, everything about it. Yes, "everything about it" does include the song "Where Are You Christmas", both the version in the film and the Faith Hill cover thereof (this song did not exist in the original animated "Grinch" and there's nothing in the original book that might have inspired it). But the song is nothing compared to how the Whos now needed to learn that "Christmas doesn't come from a store, maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more" rather than the Grinch and the unecessary gross-out humor/things really only done for "shock value" or cheap laughs. (Okay, I'll give Jim Carrey himself a pass, but everything else about this movie... no, just no.)
3. "Fairytale of New York". Yes, you read that right. I know I'm probably the only person on the planet that doesn't think this song is "a modern classic", "the only Christmas song that matters", etc. (seriously, this song seems to top every "best Christmas song" list I've seen and is never on any "worst" list). But "Christmas Eve in the drunk tank", a bickering couple (with said bickering resorting to some awful words being thrown around- sorry, I prefer not to hear "faggot", "arse", or "slut" (with or without "on junk" immediately following) in a Christmas song), a relationship pretty much falling apart? Okay, not that I particularly cared for this song to begin with, but ten years ago (as of this writing), that hit a little too close to home for me. My typical alcohol consumption throughout a given year then was about on par with what it is now, but the guy I thought at the time I would be spending the rest of my life with was a bona fide alcoholic- was so even before we met but it did seem to escalate over the course of that particular year. He was also emotionally abusive to me even sober, something I only realized in hindsight. I was trying anything and everything (like seeking out- and enduring listening to- the version of "Feliz Navidad" mentioned in #6) to salvage Christmas if not the relationship itself that year (that I failed miserably on both fronts goes without saying). Oh, sorry, didn't mean to ramble there. But I think you can see why the last thing I need to hear is some drunk calling their significant other "an old slut on junk", especially in something I'm apparently supposed to think is the best holiday song ever.
2. Missing my grandmother more than usual. Well, she was actually my great-grandmother, but she raised my dad thus ended up being my grandmother figure on his side of the family. Even well into her 80s, from what I could tell/can remember she loved Christmas. I didn't get to spend all that many Christmases with her physically due to geographical distance, but just getting cards from her, talking to her on the phone... dear gods, I'm tearing up as I type this! (Not that I don't miss other relatives who simply live too far away, but Nanny (that's what I called her) is gone forever, and, well, that hurts a lot more.)
1. The endless religious debates, discussion of historical schematics, arguments over what aspects of Christmas should be emphasized over others, pushing for or against political correctness, that kind of stuff. Hence why I earlier made it clear that I was trying to avoid getting into those.
Dishonorable mention: Elf on the Shelf. This would probably rank a bit higher (lower as the case may be) and actually made the bottom ten if I had kids/lived with someone who had kids who expected to see that not-so-cute thing in an odd place each morning (for the record, the only "kid" I have is a cat, and the only other "kids" in the house are dogs). Either way, I just don't get the appeal. As far as keeping kids' behavior in check (though only during the holiday season; no one invokes Santa any other time of year) didn't Santa do just fine on his own for decades if not centuries without having his own version of the NSA? And he should fire several of those elves given what they've been caught doing. Yet despite my lack of kids, I can't ignore the trend completely.
Dishonarable mention #2: The aforementioned phenomenon of Christmas decorations going up practically at midnight on November 1st. Seriously, <sarcasm>it's not like there's another whole month between Christmas and Halloween or anything (with or without another holiday in between). </sarcasm>
Okay, enough negativity. On to my top fifteen- thing I really like about this time of year (and yes, this one's a top fifteen rather than just a top ten).
15. People getting creative with Nativity scenes. I believe I mentioned this last week. Though upon further research, it turns out that the Troi/Riker/Bill & Ted/Three Wise Vaders scene didn't actually win the contest it was made for; I guess you could say it's the Chris Daughtry of that contest (Daughtry's still popular- justifiably so, but who even remembers who actually won the season of "American Idol" in which Mr. Daughtry took part?). Also, for a good portion of my childhood we had a more traditional Nativity scene, but my mom added a lighted ceramic tree to it- I guess an interest in not-strictly-traditional crèches runs in the family.
14. The "Foxtrot" strip where Jason made Red Shirt gingerbread men. Seeing it reposted/spread around this time of year is a lot like seeing favorite Christmas specials on TV.
13. "Will Vinton's A Claymation Christmas Celebration". I only recall seeing this on TV a couple of times in my whole life, and the one time my family tried to tape it off TV the reception was terrible that night (only up to and including the second verse of "We Three Kings"- the first song featured- was anything resembling watchable). Last year I searched and searched for an official DVD of it, hoping such a thing even existed, and actually found and bought it. Worth it? Yes. Okay, I know The California Raisins are nought but a pop culture footnote at best, but still (besides, despite their presence being hyped up in all the promos they only did one song out of the whole thing).
12 (tie). The Muppet Christmas Carol/Mickey's Christmas Carol. These particular renditions of, well, "A Christmas Carol" never get old.
11. "Winnie the Pooh and Christmas Too". I know the concurrent "Pooh" TV series ("The New Adventures of Winne the Pooh") was cancelled/ended ages ago, but no reason for this little holiday film to fade into obscurity.
10. Drive-through/walk-through holiday displays/light shows. A fine example being "Fantasy in Lights" at Callaway Gardens in Georgia. Somewhat closer to home there's the "GardenFest of Lights" at Lewis Ginter Botanical Gardens in Richmond, Virginia and "The Garden of Lights" at Brookside Gardens in Wheaton, Maryland. Oh, and these others, though I haven't actually been to most of them.
9. Baking cookies and other goodies/enjoying those others have made. The German treats my grandmother ocassionally sends, pre-packaged though they may be, count, too.
8. Decorations within reason, residential or business, inside or outside. I won't disagree that some people can get obnoxious with these, but when done in just the right measure and in just the right ways (both of which are highly subjective) they sure are nice to look at.
7. Most traditional songs/"holiday standards". Granted, again there are some renditions of these I can't stand, but again there are also several that have many good versions, even many great versions, out there. Also, yes there are some "mainstays" I could do without hearing any version of ever again, but there aren't as many of those as there are of ones I do like. Let me put it this way: as of this year my holiday playlist consists of 84 songs, and that's with it having only one version of any given song therein (that may change next year, who knows). (Okay, I have the entire albums of "A Charlie Brown Christmas" by the Vince Guaraldi Trio, "The Nutcracker" as performed by the Bonn Classical Philharmonics & Heribert Beissel, and "The Jack 2 Pack" (the original "Nightmare Before Christmas" soundtrack plus the "Nightmare Revisted" album all in one) besides said playlist (which does contain songs off of those albums anyway), but you get my point.) I guess two standouts would be "Little Drummer Boy" and "Parade of the Wooden Soldiers", if for no other reason than fond memories of music boxes that played those songs and were part of my childhood holiday decor.
6. "Snoopy's Christmas". No, I didn't confuse the name of a certain holiday TV special; "Snoopy's Christmas" is the name of a song by The Royal Guardsmen. It's a holiday-themed sequel to The Royal Guardsmen's own non-seasonal "Snoopy vs the Red Baron". In this case, Snoopy and the Red Baron celebrate Christmas together instead of fighting- obviously in reference to the real-life Christmas truce during WWI. I actually use the refrain of this song as my text message alert tone during the holiday season.
5. "A Garfield Christmas Special". Okay, I'll admit it's not as fun as some of the fat cat's less seasonal adventures, but you gotta love Jon's grandma (who incidentally also appeared in the Thanksgiving special)! And of course Garfield's little speech (if you can call it that given that he doesn't really "speak" per se) in the end: "Christmas. It's not the giving, it's not the getting, it's the loving. There, I said it. Now get out of here."
4. "Happy Christmas (War Is Over)"- the original. Don't let the fact that I complained about cover versions and almost wrote a parody of it in retaliation for someone else's parody fool you- the John Lennon original is very much a favorite holiday tune of mine. Incidentally, no, John and Yoko aren't wishing themselves "happy Christmas" during the whispered bit just before the song proper starts though it does sound that way if you're not listening very intently. Rather the greeting is directed towards their respective kids from previous marriages, Julian and Kyoko (Sean, their only kid together, wasn't born yet at the time).
3. "The Nightmare Before Christmas". I was actually hesitant to include this one because it's also a good Halloween movie. Heck, why should this movie be strictly tied to any particular time of year? But it's still awesome, so here it is on my list of Christmasy things that I like. And remember, that's not CGI- the animation was done using lots of little clay figures.
2. "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"- the animated version. Chuck Jones's animation, Boris Karloff's narration, Thurl Ravenscroft singing "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch"- what's not to like?
1. "A Charlie Brown Christmas". I don't think I really need to elaborate much more on this one.
Honorable mention: Holiday flavored creamers. Raspberry White Chocolate and Peppermint Mocha need to be available year-round (especially the former since that's not even really all that seasonal a flavor). That is all.
Honorable mention #2: Trans-Siberian Orchestra. Yeah, they have some non-seasonal stuff, but it's not as popular or well-known. Of their holiday stuff, I can't really pick one particular piece and I'm not so sure if one would consider their stuff "holiday standards" since they don't get a lot of radio play/played in stores and such, so not really sure where exactly they'd fall in the top fifteen.
Honorable mention #3: Rankin-Bass holiday specials. These, especially "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" would have ranked higher but there's obviously so many other things.
Honorable mention #4: Disney's Very Merry Christmas Songs. Such a staple of my childhood. However, much as I'd still love to watch it today, the DVD version wasn't just the VHS I grew up with in a different format. They added a bunch of songs that, regardless of how I feel about the songs themselves the original was just fine without; also they added in framing narration that was neither present nor necessary in the original. Thus, it doesn't rank as high as it otherwise could have.
Now there are some things I like and dislike that didn't even get honorable/dishonorable mentions- I tried to focus on the major highs and lows. Again, well aware that many will disagree one way or the other on a lot of these, but, well, my journal, my opinions.
